Here’s the thing, I’m poor and I have no shame. Therefore, I’m begging for money – virtually. Unlike most beggars, I have the opportunity to tell you why I deserve your cash and how I’ll spend it. Here goes…

Why am I so deserving of your cash?

I don’t suppose I’m any different to any other person, I don’t deserve your hard earned dosh anymore than the next guy. However, I hope that my blog has kept you occupied by making you laugh, making you think, providing you with useful information and helping your spiritual development.

Can you really put a price on that? As it turns out, yes. Donate now…

How will I spend your money?

How won’t I spend your money?!?! First and foremost, I’ll watch a lot of pay-per-view pornography, then I’ll purchase a baby online, after that I think I’ll sign up for that viagra that the nice man keeps emailing me about.

Just kidding. No really, I am. I’ll spend your money in one of two ways; on a trip to Rome or towards clearing my student loan. I’ve only been to the Holy See once and I’d love to go again so I’m trying to siphon off some of my money each month into a special savings account. Your donation could get me to the ball the Holy See with my prince charming Benedict XVI. The more boring option is that it’ll go towards clearing my student loans. Donate now…

Don’t you have a job?

Unfortunately. It pays the bills, puts questionable produce on the table and clothes me. There’s a bit left over for socialising once in a while, and of course a handsome (read: small) sum for my local parish priest each week in the collection. I don’t expect to become a millionaire through donations, I just think it’s a neat way of getting to Rome. Donate now…

Why don’t you just show ads on this blog?

I was considering it, but I find them annoying myself. I’m sure you’ll be more inclined to visit if there’s no flashing banners in your face. Also, I’m not so sure how the message of some of these adverts might fit in with the site; “TXT 67777 FOR HOT GIRLS IN YOUR AREA” or “CLICK THE MONKEY’S BANANA TO WIN” isn’t exactly the sort of thing I want here. Donate now…

How much do you want?

Whatever you’ve got, I’m cheap! Although, a minimum of £2 please or it’s just not worth it – PayPal takes a (relatively small) slice of the money for processing so donating less than that would mean I’d not be getting a lot. Donate now…

Alright already, I’ll donate…

I’ve temporarily pulled the donate button due to a few technical problems. :/

Labels: pseudo-pages, resources